not having pms, just started to grow sick & tired of all those lies around me.
yes. people protraying who they are & idiots believing in it. they show those idiots who they wanna be, not who they are.

is just so hurt to know that you cant do anything to take back the hatred that you planted in them. sometimes i wonder if im friendless, i will be happier.

yes. & im once that idiot who was blinded by those trust i had in those people.
so wtf to know that that’s how i view the people that i trusted the most.

& the most fucked up, people love them. & i dont see why.

either i look through your digusted self or im just simply over sensitive.

or maybe is just me & that whatever jealousy.

Sometimes, you have to accept the fact that some people are going to stay in your heart forever… even if you are gone in theirs.

Been seriously tired these few days.
my ankle still aching & had a seriously headache that kept me in bed the whole day. missed 2 japs lesson & wonder if i should really back out this time.

will be pretty busy till next week & hope eveything get back on track before term exams. & is time i seriously wonder how im going to handle the current situation. cos im gg nuts.

no. i m nutted.

He’s good.
another sad mv collection. unexpected storyline.
love it.

6 Nov 2009, after watching movie with kelly & co.
we headed to blkxxx for supper. well, was thinking if i would meet him cos i knew that was his lepak place.

was super nervous cos i saw his friends, then i saw him.
he look better compare to his photos i saw.
is really him.

He dont knw me at all.
just that i was kinda ’stalking’ him la.
& i didnt have much courage to approach him & stuff that night.
was too shy & nervous that night.

i knew about this human like 4 years ago while playing maple.
hirai told me about him & his guild.
both of us interested to know him & his friend & their guild.
i kinda obsessed w it & found his friendster & now his facebook.

i really nv though i would meet him in reality. well, i rather be in virtual, train harder & join his guild then can guang ming zheng dao know him. but, the passion faded when i knw he quitting the game.

but, very abit paiseh cos i sit facing his side, but i think he realised i keep staring at him he switched place w his friend. & his friends keep looking at me. then he change his seat again then totally back face me. (hope i think too much la) then when we are deciding to sit & wait for the car or wait outside, he left. i didnt even gt to hear his voice.

I rmb last year we went to woodgrove sec to do community service.
it was his sec school. i keep pester wee & kelly to show me his cca noticebaord.
his pic not there, nothing was up there.

ya. sometime i do wonder why im like obsessing someone who dont know me.
but, feelings cnt be control de right.

hope kelly & co next supper will still be this place.
ya. this time i swear that i will try not to stare at him.

i am really very happy, really(:

Thursday went to JP w liting to the icing house to deco cake for him.
hoho. we drew his deadly fear. was fun la!
school, as usual, either is boring or tiring.

6Nov:
Alvin’s birthday!
hoho. miss the 1st lesson, cant wakeup.
print his card w his face on it then cut the going to melt cake.
CT is always sleeping lesson, sleep throughout again^^
chipmucks bought him a optical mouse, a very obscene one.
wonder he will use not. LOLOLOL  

then, slack in school w qi, waiting for sher’s dance concert. wave 14: circus.
overall, is not bad. the 1st contemporary dance was sooo nice!
but, nice the dance end so fast, not so nice the very draggy.
funny la. loves those clowns(:

then then, uncle tee drove us to watched movie w kelly & co.- my girlfriend is an agent.
SO FUNNY LAAA!!!! Is a must watch man!
then headed to some coffeeshop for supper.
& uncle tee drove us all home!

uncle tee so cute when driving la! he very nervous then very gan chiong.
laugh like mad dog in his car. hoho

hopefully, able to do this every saturday^^
uncletee, this is better than clubbing ok!!

7 Nov:

Met shan & jy & candy in the morning @ cauesway mac.
shan so funny la, say i talk fast taht when she reply my sms she also need to be fast. imagine her expression, LOL!

then headed to JP for jap moive, watch almafi w eleen
not very nice la. abit bored. then headed to SP help qi pack primersrm.
packed the games & actually counted how many tiles, how many dice, how many cash notes are there. hoho

8 Nov:

tuition in the morning. was late & had to take cab down. crap.
then headed to westmall to buy udders icecream for my dad.
the mao shang wang really dam nice lo! can actually eat dao the durian bits in it. was ex la, but. my dad was happy(:
slept till dinner & had steamboat! woohoooo!!

damn sian can. msn cannot use.

HAIX YA!
got so many tutorials.
overdues de hope wont deduct marks.
oh god, trust me that teh & neh plus me is trying v hard.
but, seems to be piling up up & away~~~

exams coming. no kidding.
like, 4weeks more?
mock exam tml & dont knw what speech exam on tue.
& i missed that lesson. crap.

ya! i overslept & miss alot lessons also.
goona keep track incase i overshot the %.
hohoho.

hope a bad start ended w a nice ending(:

& i dont understand why cyberchatters ask for no.?
already say is cyber le. not mobile.
& i dont shui shui bian bian give.
did it once & regretted my action. god.
chat long sure ask for meet. i not chio, see me sure chua tio.
saving ur life leh! & u offline when i reject.
wth. wait till u prove that u are worth in my contact list bah.

Answers cnt find in notes & net.
is like logic ans la! but so hard to explain logic lor.
sian diaoo.

sunday treat my family to ding tai fung.
wasted 100bucks on sucky food.
other than the xiao long bao, all cn throw dustbin.

then went afterglow @ magicbox.
times passes fast huh, been one year since OSLT’08
glad & shocked to see some OSLT’08 people there.
haix. wee wee didnt go T^T

daohuey w cck gang then headed back home for crab^^
yea. dad xin xue lai chao, went chinatown buy crab.
spent ard200 on it la-_- & he ask me pay half of it.

good thing is, my mum pay half cos treat it as very belated bdae meal.
funny thing is, the lunch & crab use my jie card to pay 1st. & that card is under my dad’s acc. he didnt realise that till my jie ask him why he can sleep so soundly when my mum was complaining to my jie that the crab too ex & stuff.
my dad expression is epic man!

anws. join the exco for their meeting cos of ipod debrief.
weird but yes, i manage to go through it.
feel bad not waiting for darling mens but my dad waiting for me for dinner.
but when i went home, he say suppertime. he too hungry & eat w/o me ):
& so sweet can, he feed me fruit when i watching tv w him. hohohoho

& very randomly ask me find bf bring home.
then i keep asking him if those guys in tv pass not.
realise all parents de same. bf all need be decent looking.
other words, nerd. but he say dont find wear specs de.
AHAHHA!! cos too nerd he dont like.

I love my dad, & my mum & my jie & my lil bro(:

Is a sad storyline.
but, you can see that park bom didnt show any sign of sadness in the mv.
even when the guy died, her face just so peaceful.
i cried when i watch the scene where the guy was so touched that he tears & when he tried to kill himself but stop & smile when he thinks of her & where she holds the book walking in the field of grass, smiling.

is so vivid that he wont be back, but she just smile.
is so vivid that he wont be back, but he just smile.
i ask myself if im her, how will i react?
i will just cry & cry like nobody business.

i really, dont want to experience the feeling of loss of someone close to me.
please, dont ever let me feel it. 

you and i together, it just feels so right.
this keep ringing in my mind.

alot things going on.
whatever. no point posting it anymore.

well. feel very troubled.
thats why im here.

whenever i realised one’s negative side, i feel very disturbed.
i use to let it pass me but this time is one of my close friend.
i start to realise how cold i treatly her lately & how i tried to ignore her.

well. i dont knw hw she feels abt it cos i really cherish her as a friend of mine.
& i hated it when im like this, like so childish over stupid things.
things start to turn bad lately.
cos, it feel as thou i hated her & say nasty things to her. 

you know. for so long, i havent found someone who i am able to talk about my interests with. i feel very sad about this too. like, god, where are my friends?
but, at time, i just need someone who will sms me during the weekend & ask how am i doing. i dont need much attention for them, i just want to know that im being cared for, theres someone out there caring for me.

oh well. i dont knw la. oneday i might just kill myself & that solve eveything.